I made it back safe and sound.

And sleepy.

There was a time – oh, let’s call it the late 80s/early 90s — in which it was not uncommon for me to hit the road for three weeks or a month at a time.  These days, it’s rare for me to go on the road for more than two days at a time, before running back home to the cozy confines of my house, and the warm embrace and relentless face licking of my wife and dog.  For clarity, the wife does the embracing…the dog does the face licking.

This trip involved six nights away, while I performed five live shows in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia.  Though I do miss being at home, I still enjoy being out on the road, and the duration of this particular trip really made it feel like a step back in time.  Like I was, once again, that greasy young moon-faced daydreamer in a skinny tie, trying to turn a penchant for funny phrasing into a couple of bucks and a couple of drinks.  There are noticeable differences, of course.  I’m happily able to garner more revenue per show now than I did in 1991, and the quality of venue is better to a degree that is mathematically incalculable (…no red squiggly line – that must be a real word).  There were numerous times in the old days when I would do my set… dodge a couple of flying ashtrays in the process… then finish up, walk to the nearest staff member, and ask to be shown to the back door.  There, outside, whatever other comic I was working with would be sitting in the car with the engine running so we could make a hasty, clandestine escape into the night without being savagely beaten by the generic and woefully stereotypical group of drunken locals who took offense to the “verbal jousting” that followed their attempts to inform us that we suck.  We would speed out of the parking lot and look back at the menacing group of thugs milling about the main exit in our rearview mirror.  Then it was off to Tim Horton’s or some such well-lit refuge to split up the night’s loot.

It’s a much more enjoyable post-show exchange with the audience these days.  Some photos, some autographs, some handshaking, the occasional offer of a “home cooked meal”.  Very rarely does the offer of a savage beating crop up anymore.   Can’t say as I miss it.  I may have a maudlin propensity toward nostalgia, but that particular slice of the old days can remain firmly pasted in the rearview mirror.

Has it been two years ALREADY??!!! Must be time for me to post a new blog.  I’ll keep it brief, on account of I have about sixteen other things I should be writing right now.  The problem is – those other things are really hard.  The people who will be reading those other things have certain expectations in regard to “quality” and “pertinence” and “sensibility” and “this-doesn’t-make-any-goddam-sensisbility”.  So you can appreciate where doing one of these blogs is a more attractive proposition.

The other factor to consider is that I only have a few minutes until I have to start getting ready to do a standup show here in Moncton, NB.  (All tour dates posted here under “Tour Schedule”).  So I can’t delve into the depths those other things require right now.  And remember, that is only one of the many potential excuses I have at my disposal.

If I have a point here, and I don’t, it’s to say that I am now in charge of updating this website myself.  For years I employed my loyal, faithful, man-servant Gilrod in this capacity.  He was able to put anything I sent his way up on to this internet machine, as I had no such skills or abilities.  The problem is that Gilrod has vacated his position of showbusiness underling in favour of going to law school to become a lawyer.  Well la-dee-doodley-ding, Gilrod.  Bully for you!!!  But all that means is, in a couple or three years you’re going to be putting on a stuffy, itchy suit and tie every morning.  The law offices of Whoever, Blahbitty & Whatsits isn’t going to let you breeze into work in your flannel sweats and mesh T-shirt like I used to do.  (I used to demand it, as I recall).  At any rate, I have received much tutoring and guidance in respect to the technical points of updating this site, and I now seem to be able to do just that.  So I’ll try to do it soon and often.  Or at least until the novelty wears off.

CHECK BACK SOON!!!

**NOTE: It’ll still always say ‘Posted by Gilrod’ because no one taught me how to change that.  A constant and sad reminder of simpler times.  Chin up web world.  Chin up.

NOW THOSE ARE SOME NUMBERS!!!
Hello everybody. As you probably know by now, the world television premier of HICCUPS was this past Monday, March 1st on CTV. We were all waiting patiently Tuesday to get word from the network about our ratings. “How many people watched?” we wondered breathlessly. Well, I was breathless at least. Mind you, I had walked to the post office earlier in the day, which is about five blocks away. (Taking a moment to reach around and pat myself on the back. Uh-oh… I think I pulled something.)
Tuesday afternoon word came in. Are you ready for this? 1.9 MILLION VIEWERS tuned in to watch!!! Are you kidding me? 1.9 Million!!! To put that in perspective, that is almost 2 million. It’s more than 1.8 million people! Wrap your head around those apples my fine feathered friends. That is more than any of us expected, for sure.
All those viewers stayed to watch Dan For Mayor too, which follows our show at 8:30pm. So it looks like CTV’s Monday Comedy Block is off to a kick-A start. (“The Bachelor” which was up against us, only drew 1.3 million. Take THAT guy making out with a bunch of strange chicks he doesn’t really know!)
Big thanks to CTV for the fantastic promotion they did – especially during the Olympics. And the billboards and the bus shelter ads… they even stuck our faces on the side of some Skytrains out here in Vancouver. Imagine my giant head whipping past you at 70kmh before you’ve had your morning coffee. Not something you’re likely to forget, unless your psyche decides it’s disturbing enough to mentally block the image.
And finally, BIG THANKS to everyone of you who watched, and thanks for spreading the word and telling your friends and families and co-workers etc. It makes a big difference, and for that I am… as we say in mock Spanish… mui mui obligado. Mucho appreciado amigos.
– Brent